I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize