fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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