just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
