i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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