well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
