Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
