Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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