U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
