does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
