Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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