I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
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