turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
