is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
