its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
