walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize