Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
