At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
