Operation Purity has been aborted
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
