Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
