HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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