Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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