We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
