You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
