can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
