Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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