your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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