Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
