how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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