he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize