Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
