I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
