Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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