Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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