Whoa Z and x make the same sound
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize