I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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