I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
