The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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