i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
