Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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