I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
