i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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