I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
