how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
