we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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