6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
