Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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