I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
