ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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