So drunk, too bad you don't want this
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
