I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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