So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
