Its about making memories worth repressing
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
third nipple confirmed
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
