He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
