she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
